the random adventures of jojo

I finally gave in and set up a tumblr blog. Hehe.

Needed to justify yet another blog, especially since I have my own domain so… I’ll use it as my new moblog (mobile blog). Seeing as how I don’t quite like Blogger (despite the fact the Google now owns it, lol) so I’m giving up the previous one. Also because that one was set up with my SE phone.

YAY!
After fiddling around with it for awhile, I’ve found that Tumblr’s an awesome engine to post scraps of random information up. That’s what Tumblr blogs essentially are, according to their site – scrapbooking online. I likey.

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WHY is it SO HOT? Un-fathomable mystery of my life. And this stupid sunny island.

2 air conditioners + 1 ceiling fan. I’m still melting in my silly office chair, unable to concentrate on anything at all because the heat is driving me insane. Refused to eat my duck noodles because the weather was insane. Gave in because there were pieces of lard staring at me. Oh, the guilt.

I spent the whole of last week sick in bed, whining to Pip and Potatoe about everything, watching silly dramas online and basically sleeping many hours in a day. How come I’m still tired as ever??

Unfortunately for me and the adventures with the Incredibly Insane Insomnia, I slept at 6.30am on Sunday only to go to work with less than 3 hours of sleep.

Last night was highly eventful:

I know I get quite a number of hits by people searching for the lyrics of this song – so here it is
Embedded the song from imeem (but didn’t autoplay – i am so considerate. LEARN PLEASE!)

this is how i know what love is
this is how i know i’m free
this is how i know salvation
Jesus came and died for me

this is why i come to worship
this is why i lift my hands
this is why i now surrender
everything i am

because of Your love,
there is dancing in my heart
because Your grace, i am free
because of Your faithfulness
there’s a song that must be sung
and i will sing, i will sing because of You

this is why there’s joy within me
this is why my spirit sings
Jesus You’re my great adventure
You’re my everything

You came to save the world,
to save the world, to save the world…

Your love can change the world
can change the world, can change the world…

I love this song! It’s such a happy bounce off walls track heehee.
Because of Your love, indeeeeedy

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Oh noes, our body clocks have gone mad. I am still up (2.30am) and he is still sleeping (6.30pm) hahaha.

I’ve been sleeping at 6am for the past 2 days – not good. Damn.
My stupid virus infection nonsense flu fever cough thing is almost completely gone, thank God! I kinda miss the drowsiness of the cough and flu tablets though. Hehe.

jojo: i want to eat sheep
kelv: you want to eat mehmeh?
jojo: uh huh
kelv: good girl

HAHAHAHA we are so warped, I swear.
But yes. I do want to eat mehmeh.
Lamb chops, or rack of lamb please.

i love you, smelly bear :]

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I always knew that we are to continually grow in childlike-ness and of course, childlike faith, because children have faith more easily than adults. As we grow and learn more and experience more, you’d think we would believe more and more in God, but that obviously isn’t the case because as humans, we let the world teach us more than we let God teach us. How foolish.

And even though I always knew that, it occurred to me in a whole new way today.

It feels less and less Christmassy every year, as each year passes. Yes, it has gotten particularly hard to work up the spirit of Christmas these last couple of years because Pinkie’s physical absence becomes more evident this time of year but I realised it is also because I am getting older.

Year after year it becomes harder and harder to feel Christmas, and I get caught up in the elusive Christmas feeling even though I know I shouldn’t be.

Yes, it makes me sad not having him by my side to celebrate my favourite time of year and it still makes me tear every time I think about it.
But yet, I know deep down in my heart that the meaning of Christmas goes way deeper than that.

Because I have been so miserable and sad lately, I asked God for a Christmas miracle this year, and while I am not too sure as to what it is or whether it has or will come to pass, I know that I am now content.

As much as I know deep in my heart that the meaning of Christmas is Jesus, I have also been constantly reminding myself of this amidst the sadness and loneliness this time of year. I keep telling myself repeatedly that Jesus is the reason for Christmas – be happy just because of this. But me being me, I just don’t deal with issues just by a voice telling me things. Erm, experiential kinesthetic learner is like that one haha.

And then God suddenly reminded me just how important this childlikeness and childlike-faith is.

I’ve only had 2 presents to open this year.
As opposed to a HECK load of presents I used to open on Christmas Eve every year with my brother. I remember as the years passed, the gifts got less.. the presents also got less personal. I remember bugging my brother one year to open his presents at the same time as me – to which he saw no point anymore.
I pushed away what I felt at that point, but I remember it too clearly – it was very much like grasping at straws.

As years passed, look at where we are. I’ve never felt so lousy on a Christmas Eve – insanely sick and alone in my room, with no Clara here because she has a last minute shift tomorrow, with no Pinkie here simply because he can’t be.. with no other friends because they’re all with their own families and friends.

I opened my presents at my own time (2 presents – 1 from my Aunt and 1 from Pinkie) and tonight it struck me that because the experience has been dimmed down by the people around me, it really does make it harder for me to feel Christmas. No big happy tearing of presents open, no WHAT DID YOU GET WHAT DID YOU GET… nothing.

I guess when things were really stripped down to its bare minimum did I see God’s hand in this.

We can help the people around us retain their childlike-ness, help them grow it and help them remain childlike – but are we doing our part?

As we grow up and get older, we let traditions slide away thinking that because we’re older, they don’t matter anymore. Do they not, really?

Traditions (especially personal family ones) are there to keep bringing back that familiar warm feeling – if I could, I’d do all I can to bring traditions back to my own family in the future, year after year.
Nothing seems to be familiar this year, nothing seemed to stay the same. I’m crying as I type this up because its always been a sore spot in my heart. I just really never told anyone.
I miss the family traditions we had dearly and madly because of the feelings they brought with them. It really is difficult to feel Christmas without those things.

When Pam surprised all of us with a Christmas tree in our room, bare and yet lit-up for us to decorate as a family, I teared like crazy and did all I could to stop them from falling (mostly cos I knew that if I didn’t I’d start bawling like a baby) because it just meant so so much to me.

Uhmmm I know this post is a jumble of thoughts, and I swear, I totally had a point to make when I started but I think I sorta lost it. Haha.

Basically, I just wanted to say that God reminded me in a new way of the importance of childlike-ness, and why the Christmas feeling has been so lost on me. God, help me find back my childlike-ness and my childlike faith, please please please.

That said, I still miss you. Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very much.

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I will never be a successful vampire – I HATE the taste of blood.

Throwing up earlier was one of the scariest times, seriously.
I was retching so fast and couldn’t stop myself from throwing up over and over. My chest hurt like crazy and I REALLY couldn’t breathe. I wanted to make some sort of noise like I don’t know, a sob or something.. to get my parents’ attention because I was throwing up in my toilet and they were in their room and I was just getting very freaked out over not being able to stop the puking and not being able to breathe.

The best part was that I couldn’t even cry out for them because I was puking too hard, and also cos I had no voice left to even cry. Wth. Scariest time ever.

Finally got their attention by errr, slamming the toilet seat I think. Don’t know anymore. Mind’s a blur. Also finally managed to cough and get some air into my system, thank God. When they finally found me (whilst trying to push an over-excited Russell away from me and my puke) I was sobbing like crazy on the toilet floor, STILL puking. Gah. Sigh.

After they eventually got me to calm down and quit throwing up, I realised they’d called Joel to get home with the car to send me to the doctor cos I gave my mum a scare.

Turns out I threw up blood as well.

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I’m back from Pam’s 12’s retreat and it sucks to say that I feel completely unrested.

Physically because I’m insanely ill with a fever that has been coming and going the entire weekend, a cough that is threatening to be as scary as the one I got about 3 or 4 months ago and a nose that stays blocked after I cry. Oh and nausea too but I suspect that is from too much painful sobbing, lol.

I thank God for Yuki, though.. For holding me and praying over me as I cried harder than I have in awhile this morning. And for Sam who patted me to sleep last night as I lay sobbing beside her.

Retreat ended at service today, as usual.

What’s unusual is that it was Christmas service. With blue & white star clappers that flashed everywhere driving me insane because I hate blue lights. Also with streamers, a video about the meaning of Christmas that quite impressed me graphics-wise.
And of course, with Christmas carols.

You know what’s even more unusual? …… For the first time in my life I couldn’t stop sobbing whilst the entire church sang the carols. Carols that bring hope and joy. Wth. This is rubbish. It isn’t supposed to be like this – Christmas-time is supposed to be my favourite time of year.

I remember being in two minds just before Christmas last year too.
How do I complete this with tears in my eyes and a hurt in my heart? To send or not to send?
I’m supposed to send it out tomorrow but it’s incomplete and I don’t know how to finish what I started.

Two-way, please.
How do you define worth?

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Why does home seem so out of reach?

I hate this

Everything.

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These don’t make sense because despite what it looks like, NO, HANA AND NADIA ARE NOT FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER:

2 comments blurred out because they have absolutely nothing to do with this.

Say hi to answers:

TADAHHHH!!! MYSTERY OF THE MISSING PIECES.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Of course, if you hop by my Facebook profile now, this is all you’ll see:

I really wasn’t annoyed til pieces went missing. How utterly convenient huh? I can already imagine responses!
- decided to end the fighting
- wanted to be the bigger person in all this
- it’s over, i said sorry so removed them all

Heh.

I am speeechless. ARE YOU?

Hahahahahahahhahaha.

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As part of the mini zoo that travelled 7 hours in a car was the noisiest creature ever known to man.

He screeches, squawks, shrieks and screams! Alliteration, yo.

After the introduction to him in the previous post about Melaka, you might have already guessed who’s the noisy lil twerp.

Providing much entertainment and comic relief in the car towards Melaka, nothing could have prepared us for the fiasco that happened when we eventually (finally) got to Melaka town, and Zhan entrusted the map to this Jiao Bin to get us to the hotel.

SIGH.

Much stress and shrieking ensued, as we were insanely late for our check-in and constantly making wrong turns and getting lost. HAHAHA getting lost has never been so noisy and amusing.

As our lil adventure in Gula Melaka-land unfolded, we discovered more and more faces of Rudolf.

*deadly stare*

Ahem.

I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE A COCKROACH!!!!!!! Wahahahahaha

It got too much and I couldn’t hold in my hysterical laughter anymore.

Have you been wondering why he’s been so affectionately termed Jiao Bin (literally translated to mean Bird Face – it’s just a hell lot funnier in Hokkien)??

Hee hee.
He REALLY does look like that owl ah? HOOOOOT HOOT, according to him.

And as he reads this post up til here, I can just imagine his reaction…………

HAHA.

And at the end of the day, no matter how he sulks and shrieks and screeches and squawks, you just melt because he gives you this face:

AWWWWW!!

Hee hee. Watch the video of the Jiao Bin in action:

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Camp SHINE was awesome.

Perhaps because I had completely no expectations – I was too tired and dazed from all the crying the night before. I went there empty, and just let God take over and I suppose, that’s all it took.

There was an immense presence of God’s peace throughout the camp. Not just upon me, but with the whole committee and all the counsellors.

God’s so amazing; He knows when to be harsh on us and when to be so totally sweet that it just blows you away.

The girls I took care of during the camp were so easy to handle, and I thank God! Because leading them through the 3 days brought about a leap in confidence in myself. I can do this, I can lead and I can help them encounter God in a personal manner. It felt really good knowing that my sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and His prompting is still there and that I can still receive words to pray over these girls that I either don’t know very well or didn’t know at all before the camp.

It was different at this camp, because it’s the first time all of us were attending and being counsellors for a camp that wasn’t run by people we’re familiar with. There was a different style of running the camp and although it took a little getting used to, it was all good and there was a lot to learn from them.

The camp was really healing, for both campers and counsellors.

My group was awesomeeeeezzzz. Somehow it grew from 6 campers to 10 campers by the last day?!?! HAHA. But oh man, they were really a fun bunch to be around. They’re all so teachable and open, and mature! Hee. Praise God!
The breakthroughs that were experienced throughout the 3 days as they were led through games, sermons and ministry times were nothing short of astounding. I thank God for His amazing work!

I’m soooo physically tired out from the camp because of the lack of sleep and an aching shoulder+back cos of the bed, but it’s okay! Pam’s retreat for us is this coming weekend, YAY!

AAAAND Christmas is next week.
I have yet to get a single present ready. DIE!!!!
And Pinkie’s present might get sent out too late too! DIEEEEE!!

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Where are my happy pills?
Or at the very least, where are my anti-depressants? Or sleeping pills.
OR SOMETHING.

DAMNIT, I don’t even have time to go see a doctor to get them.

…. GOD can I have a Christmas miracle?
PLEASE.

kthnxbye.

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