the random adventures of jojo

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, nothing else will do
I’ve gotta have you, I’ve gotta have you.

You’d think after about two and a half years of seeing my boyfriend for 3 months out of the entire year, I’d be used to it by now. I suppose this year has been somewhat easier, because there is knowledge at the back of my head that this is his last year there and that he will be back soon. Soon, is subjective, of course.

For the past 3 times he left to go back to school, it’d be in September. Every September I’d be upset (understatement of the year) when it was time for him to leave for London.

And after awhile, I’d be better. This was usually the middle of October. HAHAHA.

Things would be fine.. I’d be more used to the idea that he wasn’t around again. Until….. DECEMBER APPEARS.

Decembers have sucked for the past few years, simply because it’s my favourite month. Decembers are supposed to be all warm and fuzzy and slightly cool (weather-wise) and I guess, not having him around to share that with me just really really sucks.

Once the horrid December goes past, January is usually a little brighter.

In January, 3 months have since passed since he left! That seems like quite a feat, and makes things easier to bear.. because hey! That’s 3 months down from the 9 months it started with when he left in September.

And then February comes.
Februarys have been gloomy the past few years too, not because of Valentine’s Day please (he sends flowers! well, except this year HAHAHA).. but because it’s my birthday month and I am one of those people who loves celebrating their birthdays lah!

Random fact #23724: Did you know that I have never had a birthday spent with him before?

So yea, February gets a tad gloomy for me because like December and Christmas-time, I want to be able to spend it with him. It also doesn’t help that over the years, more and more people have gone abroad or gotten busier, and basically no one is free to spend my birthday with me. Oh well.

Things usually pick up after February because by March, I’ve pretty much gotten used to him being away all over again and have random outbursts of “COME HOME SOON!!!!” and “YAY YOU’RE COMING HOME SOON!!!” Haha.

Time usually seems to zip by from March to May, which is when he’s usually back for summer holidays.. but of course, never as fast as when he is around. Meh.

But you know, aside from these months when I seem to be more affected by my boyfriend being 10,000km away from me, there are random days when I just miss him more than usual.

Not any special day, just days when I’d just like him to be around.. just to talk, to share what happens in my life, to just…. be around.

I miss hugs and kisses, I miss holding hands, I miss his presence and I miss phone calls where I can hear him clearly which don’t cost 30cents a minute.

I read or hear or see people whining about how their other half is away for like a week, or busy for awhile or they haven’t met in like five days or he’s away in camp, and some days I want to scream at how…. unfair (for the lack of a better word) it all seems. I know everyone has their own battles to fight, and it’s just not the same.. but I still feel like stabbing people on those days anyway.

It hasn’t been easy, and when people ask me how I do it, I usually respond by telling them I cry a lot. HAHAHA.

I’m just glad he’s coming home soon.. and that I’m going to go over for a holiday before he comes back. Even so, I miss bear hugs tremendously.

COME HOME SOON!!!!!!!!

3 elliefants like this post.

Unlike

silent contentment…

This was taken at my birthday dinner at Da Paolo’s on Saturday. I like how calm and serene it feels, and perhaps, that mood and photo effectively sums up how I felt by the end of my birthday.

Saturday turned out to be pretty great, which was rather unexpected, judging by my ranty emo outbursts the week that proceeded it.

Brunch with the ex-es at my favourite brunch place, incidentally introduced to me by them, was the perfect beginning to that day. Good food, and great company! It was nice catching up, and laughing at the various senses of humour that I’ve missed terribly.

I got a pedicure after that, with Charm and was pleasantly surprised at the expansion my now-favourite nails place has undergone. It’s now even more comfortable than before, and of course, there are few things that make me happier than getting my nails done.

Dinner was a quiet affair at Da Paolo’s with the ex-es, and Dawn and Clara who came down. My pasta was yummy yummy yummy! Even nicer than I’d remembered it to be, last I had it.

My Holland V walks are now complete, with the opening of Daily Scoop at Chip Bee Gardens!

Up in the Air with Clara after everyone left was awesome. When I last saw the trailer, I thought it was a typical Hollywood movie, and it totally confused me when it was mentioned that they were nominated for Best Picture!

Totally no regrets catching it – I was impressed with the movie. In fact, I really really love it! The editing and directing were both good, with a feel that was real and yet surreal at the same time. The script was good, with intelligent and funny dialogue. I hate slapstick, have I mentioned that before?

Acting was good as well, and George Clooney is just easy on the eyes. I adore his laugh lines! Sexy.. mm.

The movie was easy to digest and yet, so real but not in a sickeningly pretentious way.

Watching it, and being filled with the knowledge at the back of my head that I was going home to end my birthday with a conversation with Pinkie was just…. I don’t know how to put it. I just remember feeling totally content with my life at that point.

Like!

Unlike

Love is when you’re so incredibly tired, frustrated and annoyed with a stupid piece of work and the smelliest loveliest bear of them all takes out his digital camera (something rare for this bear) and take a photo of Skip and Belly and Potatoe, uploads it and sends it to you saying that Skip and Belly and Potatoe said they haven’t seen me in a very long time so they asked him to send me a photo of them.

Valentine’s Day came early this year :]
Goodnight!

1 elliefant likes this post.

Unlike

The countdown ticker I have on my Dashboard reads:

Not sure why it doesn’t just say 5 months, but perhaps that’s a good thing. It made me smile when I glanced at it today. I don’t launch my Dashboard often so that helps.. Haha. Pinkie says I got the right countdown ticker because it says 4 months and 4 weeks, instead of 5 months. HAHA.

Because stupid things like that make me happier.

Sooo… If nothing goes wrong, I’ll be seeing Pinkie in 4 months and 4 weeks! Hehe. I miss Pinkie…

3 elliefants like this post.

Unlike

It isn’t Valentine’s Day when couples flood the streets, all happy and smiling with each other.
It also isn’t during my birthday, even though I love birthdays and would love to be able to celebrate it with me.

It isn’t even during Christmas-time, my favourite time of year, when I wish with all my heart that we can share it together for the first time.

It’s times like this, when my world seems to be falling apart around me in the slowest of motions and there is absolutely nothing I can do to prevent it or stop the pieces from shattering on the ground.

It isn’t about having someone to tell me what to do, to give me advice or even to talk.. I may not know everything I have to do; I have some semblance of inkling as to where to go on from here.. so that really isn’t the point, or the suckiest bit of all this.

It’s about seeing my dad look so incredibly tired, disheveled and so so unhappy with that broken look in his eyes, and feeling completely helpless.. It’s when I know this is beyond me and what I can do, but it’s just dealing with the emotions left behind and trying to be okay.

It’s times like this, when all I want is your presence next to me, to just hold me and let me know it’s okay, that you’re here, that you’re holding my hand through all this.

I don’t need answers, I don’t need solutions… All I need is your simple presence here, because it gives me strength.

And this, is when LDRs suck the most.

1 elliefant likes this post.

Unlike

New Year’s Eve snuck up on me.

Without warning or anticipation, I found it thrust upon me and with all the New Year wishes and posts on blogs and Twitter I keep seeing, thoughts of what has happened this past year was thrown at me.

To be honest, I couldn’t remember much of what happened at all! Haha. I paused for awhile to recall what has happened this past year but I drew a blank, unable to go past the past 2 months which has essentially been my break from school.

And then it occurred to me that this year has really just been one hugeass whirlwind.

• i am finally back in school!

it was a horrid and long journey to be back in school, because of finances and because of reasoning with myself and my parents. all in all, God has been awesome and an incredible source of provision in this area. the first semester of school was one hell of a ride, with much to get used to but i’m loving what i do!

• awesome summer break with pinkie

i’d quit my previous job to take a break before school started, and spent one awesome summer break with pinkie. it was an incredible time of growth and love for us, and i am still continually grateful for it because it’s helping to tide me over this period of time when he’s back in london.

• i stepped down as a leader

this was never mentioned here, and i think there are a lot of people who don’t know yet.. not officially, anyway. but yea, i stepped down as a leader late this year. it was to sort out a lot of issues between me and God + church, and i thought it was unfair to let it continue to affect them. it was one of the hardest decisions i made, and the journey it took to come to that decision was painful and still is from time to time. i’m still working on stuff and praying that this whole church thing works out too.

• got my first dSLR

it shocked me, but there were a bunch of people who were surprised that i didn’t own a dslr before this. i was blessed with one a few weeks ago, and i am beyond grateful. it’s made things a lot easier photography-wise and i’m hoping this opens up more doors for me. although i am still unsure of which paths to take (career vs dream vs combining both etc etc) i pray that things just fall into place, somehow. the amount of blessings that have taken place with regards to photography is nothing short of amazing for me – from people who offer to teach me various things, to lending me gear etc etc.. i’m just really thankful.

Just four points, but the biggest points in my life this year, I think. My mind’s close to a blank right now because of the lack of sleep.. and so I will be spending NYE at home, in the quiet of my room. I had planned to head down for church’s countdown but the aching back and the thought of dealing with a crowd is abit much tonight.

The year could have ended on a better note, but I’ve too much on my mind that I need to spend abit of time sorting out on my own.

Here’s my year, summed up in a much fancier and happier version:

How has your year been?

Here’s wishing you a wonderful 2010 ahead! Make use of it, spend time with the ones you love and please, let them know you love them. hug, kiss, love.

And that, by the way, is a shot glass full of maple syrup! Hahaha. I wanted to drink it but was forbidden by Zhan. Probably fearing for his life having to deal with me after a shot of sugary goodness.

I’m praying that 2010 will be a good year of love and growth, of stability and of passion.

There is much to look forward to in 2010, really. For me, it’s Pinkie’s arrival back home. For good. At least for awhile. It is so much of a big deal for me, you cannot imagine. Two and a half years of LDR. Half a year more to go. Go go go! iloveyou

And then, there is the great Europe Adventure to be shared with my favouritist pink bear in the whole wide world, once I have completed my first year of school and him, his last. *crosses fingers*

2 elliefants like this post.

Unlike

It’s okay, y’know? You don’t have to pretend – I know I have no say. It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. Not anymore, because I am choosing to ignore this for now.

The past week has been…………..
If you’ve been talking to me, you’d know.

All I can say is, going to bed with squeezed chests and short breaths made up for most of the nights. With a pounding heart, I resorted to pills so I could breathe normally. Crying out of exasperation doesn’t help either.

Neither are you.
You’re never wrong; who am I to say anything? I can’t, apparently. Not in this position.

In an alternate position, that co-exists, I thought I could, but hearing isn’t the same as listening so I shall shut up and not try to voice how I felt.

I am but a tiny fry in a sea of potatoes.
Funny though, how it turns out my mum sorta knows the Head of this region of potatoes.

QUESTIONSSSSSSSSS…? Hahahaha. I was looking for a part time job, but because of the past week and the _________ that came with it, I am re-thinking my options. Maybe I should just catch up on sleep and ease my mind.

I do, however, have a target of how much I wanted to earn or save during this holidays but I’m not sure how that’s going to happen. God will provide, yes? Yes.

So many plans, so many things to do…

Meeting up with Zhan for dinner and random walks and drives made me insanely happy. It also made me realise how long it’s been since I’ve been out with any of my close friends.

I’ve missed his sense of humour tons! Heh. He says few people get it.. but why! I bet they’re all dumb. Pft.

—–

Long bittersweet talks fueled by love, wiping chocolate off cheeks and pseudo sad faces.
& just like that, I find myself falling in love all over again. ♥

Like!

Unlike

I. AM. SO. BORED.

Not that I’m complaining though. Not much, at least. I’m still relishing this new found boredom and free time that have landed in my hands now that I’m officially on holiday! I love school holidays! Don’t you? Haha.

In the past 3 years when I was working, I used to get immensely jealous of all my friends when they had their long school breaks. Now it’s my turn! Heh heh. The awesome part is that I’m on a 2 month break.

In view of my boredom and too much time, I decided to post up a hell lot of photos that I kept procrastinating over. That, and trying to evade the inevitable task of cleaning up the dining table in my house. I made a huuuuge mess when I was rushing work throughout the semester.

Here’s proof:

When I left this mess, I thought it was bad.
This was just after my mockup for the pop up was done.


This was after the actual pop up was done.

Since then, the mess has multiplied a couple of times, taking over more than 3/4 of the entire dining table (which seats 6, by the way) AND an additional mahjong table. It’s no wonder my mum has been going insane at the mess. I’m supposed to have cleared this up by yesterday, sooo I suppose I will head downstairs to clean it up after this. *deep sigh*

In happier news, this stupid Jiao Bin is coming home in less than 2 weeks!!!

Yes, I am fully aware that none of you understand that. Hahahahaha.

Alsooooo……. another bear is coming home!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

YAY! I can’t wait for the two of you to get home! Then we (+ Dawnie/Stumpy/Deepa) can head out and go mad together! YAYYYYY. In air conditioned spaces, preferably. Hahah.

I miss doing stupid shit like that with you guys. Please hurry home! Meh!

For the past half year, school has been taking up most of my time of course. Aside from being stressful especially in Term 2, school’s been a blast! I love what I’m doing and I’m so glad that God has placed me here. It took a lot of getting used to but I think everything’s going fine.

Some photos from school + school work!

Barbs!


Daniel!


Kelly!


& me in Daniel’s hat! Haha.

School drives us all mad. Daniel is in his special Halloween costume – can you tell what it is? HAHA.

Our coursework consists of a ton of hands on work, where we make things.. something I don’t think you’d expect from a Design Comms / Graphic Design course, but after the initial struggle to adjust to it, I can see its benefits in the long run. It’s become quite fun, although it still drives me mad sometimes. Heh.

Collage! Quite like this even though I didn’t really know what I was doing in the midst of it. Haha.

These were taken just before Pinkie slipped off the swing and scraped his knees and feet soooo badly. =/
He was preparing to help me with a shot I needed to take. OMG I felt so bad!!!! After that I helped him clean his wounds with alcohol swabs and qing cao you which had him squirming so badly in pain. =(

My poor wounded bear!!!! It was much worse than it looks man…

On one random day out, we saw a fat cat.

And I also fell in love with Risotto!!! I WANT MORRREEEEE!!!!!
As well as Da Paolo’s, of course. A visit back is due soon!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


helloooo, skip!

I miss Skip! BOOHOO.


YO!

Introducing… BELLY!!!!
So cuteeee. *squee!*


See! Now claws! She looks incredibly huggable, like a marshmallow.
I wish I didn’t have to wait 7 more months before I can hug her!!

One of my favourite photos of Pinkie and me. Haha!
This was taken at the pool when we were at Tioman earlier this year.

Totally random, but I painted Russell’s paws with watercolour paint and stamped him around.
AHAHAH SO CUTE!

unedited shot of a Coke can. Love the colours!

Very happy after my purchases + first Christmas present! HEE HEE HEE!

I suppose it’s time to head downstairs to clear up the tables… Hope there’s news from the various places where I applied for a part time job soon. Decided that I need to make some money to save up, instead of bumming around. Bleh!

I LEAVE YOU WITH PHOTOS OF ME LEST YOU FORGET ME! HAHAHAHA.

<3

Like!

Unlike

SCHOOL’S OUT! *hops about*

After all the counting down for the past couple of weeks, I can’t quite believe assessment is over!!!! YAYY! I was so tired out yesterday after assessment that I didn’t even have energy to feel happy. WTH! I felt so cheated. Haha.

In a couple of days, I will find out if I need to go back for resubmission – i/e I was in danger of failing a module.. or something. *crosses fingers and toes*

Class barbecue tomorrow! When was the last time you heard that phrase – class barbecue? Haha! So cute.

Hellooooo, 2 month break!!! *waves*
Somehow, I’ve a feeling the 2 months will fly by me. So many things I want to do.. Hmmm.

I need a job. I also need sleep. How??
To be more specific, I need money. Zzz..

Much love to everyone who has encouraged me and checked on me over the past month when I was dying and buried under the mountain of work. And for being so understanding about me not being able to meet up with you.

And of course, most love to the best boyfriend in the world for being so patient with me when I was stretched to the max, grumpy and stressed.. I love you! *squish* Thanks for being around to accompany me, calling to say hi and making me laugh with your silliness.. and for putting Skip and Belly and Potatoe on Skype with me for 3 hours. I can’t wait til we’re in the same country again.. 7 more months!

2 elliefants like this post.

Unlike

Photos from my lomography project for school here!

I used hands and feet to show emotion. Not entirely happy with them with respect to the theme, but quite happy with some of the photos. Photos in that gallery were all shot on various slide films and cross processed, with the LC-A or my Olympus XA1.

Sam very kindly lent me his LC-A for my project.. thank you!! And after using it for a few weeks, I found that I absolutely love it. It’s very different from the other (cheaper) lomo cams available, and is much sturdier. Photos turn out better too because of the light meter in the camera.

I’d wanted a Diana F+ (remember Mr Pink??) but after this, I decided to just spend that money on an LC-A instead. And then I guessed that Pinkie was thinking of getting me Mr Pink for Christmas!

I asked if my present was fun, pretty or useful. He said, ‘all 3′ and that could only mean a camera… no? Haha!

So yea, told him not to get it for me because I decided to get an LC-A instead. By then I’d already decided on the LC-A+ with Russian lens (and China body because they all have made in China bodies after Lomography stopped selling the original LC-A and relaunched it a few years back) and it’s about 400+ SGD.

I went on eBay on a whim one day and found one that I *really* wanted – the original Russian LC-A! *squeal*
Pinkie contributed to my bid for it and yesterday I won the bid!!!! Was an agonising two days, please. I got it for 100+ SGD.. happy!!! Besides having cool Russian words on it, it also has aperture control – something the new ones don’t have. Awesomeeee!

I’ll only get it in December though, because I had it sent from Poland to Pinkie in London cos it’s cheaper. His brother is bringing it back for me in December!

OH OH, aaaand!! Pip and Skip have a sister!!!!!!! AHAHAHA her name is Belly! LOL. She’s Pinkie’s Christmas present and she arrived a couple of days ago. She is damn fricking cuuuute! Hehe. Oh, and she has no claws. Looks like a marshmallow. So huggable! I’ll post up a photo next time.. I’ll only get to see her in June though.. cos she’s gonna be staying in London. :-((

My left foot has gone to sleep, and so should I. Goodnight geeks.
I had my fill of my weekly comedies last night – happy! How I Met Your Mother / Big Bang Theory / Accidentally In Love.

Like!

Unlike

I love you and I miss you and ultimately, all I want is you next to me, right here not there.

Like!

Unlike

My absolute favourite foods generally belong to this strange meal called Breakfast, which I don’t usually get to enjoy because well, I adore sleeping in til lunch.

Places that serve breakfast all day delight me, although as of now I am unsure of any brekkie all day places that have good food. Brunch is awesome as well because you get both, and right now my favourite place is Riders Cafe. Their eggs benedict is love! So are their pancakes – I proclaimed that I was never going to eat hotcakes again after having tried their pancakes. Lol.

I also particularly loved the days when Pinkie and I made breakfast together. Scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, waffles and pink milk! The only thing that kills my job is having to wake up 2 hours before I want to eat and travel to his place to make breakfast. Bleh!

And so, what tops my list of breakfast love has got to be homemade breakfast, served in bed. Aww! It’s such a lovely notion, gesture and thought (dream?) because I haven’t had it. OMG WHAAAT?

ANYWAY. Here’s Gordon Ramsey teaching how to make perfect scrambled eggs…

PINKIE!!! *hint*

1 elliefant likes this post.

Unlike

« Older Entries