the random adventures of jojo

the tug at your heart,
the physical ache,
the sinking,
the fear of screwing things up with your own bare hands,
the stupid stupid terrifying fear that grips you,
the sort that leaves you wondering how you could be so dumb as to do things to screw everything up

some days I wonder if it’d all be easier if only I weren’t driven by time and words. or if I didn’t keep feeling, or feel so much, in any case.

or if I weren’t this dumb.

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I love you and I miss you and ultimately, all I want is you next to me, right here not there.

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it’s 1.30am, and I’m off the laptop, lying in bed. chances are, I’ll fall asleep soon.

wow, asleep before 4 in the morning. that’s new and rare, given my track record for the past couple of weeks. I’m so exhausted, so this is rather welcome.. this, referring to actually being tired enough to fall asleep. something has to be done about my insomnia huh?

I got my days and classes mixed up, and tonight’s one of the times when that mix up is a good thing – I discovered that my deadline is Thursday, not tomorrow. this means that I can go to bed without doing work tonight.. need sleep.

too much on my mind.. I’m going a wee bit insane with stress and short tempers. sigh.

pinkie and I had lunch at Quiznos today for the first time. the sandwiches there are REALLY good.

the sad part is that he got food poisoning, and by dinner time he was in quite bad shape. =/
I’d still return though, I suppose. guess he was unlucky. hah.

he developed a fever a few hours ago so I sat around sponging him and get this – feeding him. hahaha. I think it’s the first time in my life i’ve ever fed someone like that! heh.

silly bear. so heartbreaking seeing him in so much pain and discomfort
his mum was incredibly sweet, as usual. she made me accept money to take a cab back home after I was done sponging pinkie. awww! hehe.

alright, I shall head off. shall eat one of my favourite japanese crackers to cheer me up. pinkie’s leaving and heading back to London in less than a week now..

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it’s 5am, I am fully aware. I also know that I should be asleep.. but I’m not. (duh)

can’t fall asleep. I suspect it has something to do with feeling immensely unsatisfied with the way the weekend has passed me by. it’s been unproductive, lousy and frustrating. or rather, that’s how I’m feeling at the end of the weekend.

I suppose I only have myself to blame, which is adding to the frustration in itself. sheesh.

anyhoo, because I couldn’t sleep, I got myself some new applications on my iPhone and I’m glad to say that my Tumblr account is active once more!!

hehe. it’s been neglected for ages because I just haven’t had the time to sit around and browse through the many brilliant entries there are on tumblr. I’ve gotten myself 2 applications that hopefully makes everything more convenient.

it should, really. I’m such a sucker for stuff that seem to approve wholly of my laziness. haha.

so I guess although the work on the school front hasn’t been as productive as it could have been, I’ve been rather productive in getting my Flickr account set up and running, as well as reviving my beloved Tumblr account.

drop by here: rumpledoodles.tumblr.com! =)

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To have an awesome night of encountering God with Pinkie and Hillsong end off with ice cream at 3.30 in the morning in my cold air-conditioned room while tucked in bed under the comforter, followed by a cup of super cold iced water… this is bliss.

The only thing that could possibly make this moment any better would be to have you here to enjoy it with me, me thinks.

These small, simple stuff are what makes life worth living.

What’s made you feel blissful or happy lately?

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Helloo!! I’m back from the sunny island of Tioman! Just like how Singapore is fricking sunny, so is Tioman. Only, it’s made more manageable with far less humidity levels and sea breeze. Oh, and lots and lots of ice cream!

Am too lazy to update about it, so this is just a quick update to let you know I am back, lest Tania complains once again about the lack of updates. HMPF. Oh ya, Tan.. when is the Hillsong Australia conference typically held? =P

On to geeky squeals – my lovely iPhone, Tweedledee, has been updated to 3.0! YAYNESS! I’m back to original software, baby! (And missing my games and theme…. and super easy swipe to switch between 2G and 3G networks… and the notifier icons I get at the taskbar…) But ohwell, I just felt it was time to switch back mainly because I am sick of my phone crashing and not being able to freely updating my Macbook’s OS updates without having first to check if it will affect my phone/Macbook.

Can I just say that I am positively thrilled that I am now able to go online via the internet tethering???? This basically means I can go online on my Macbook with my phone’s mobile broadband plan!!! Somewhere for my 50gb of data to go to now. HEHE. See, now don’t you regret listening to Singtel give you their promotional bullcrap about the “iPhone” data plans? Sheesh.

This rocks my socks for various reasons! One, I can go online ANYWHERE with my Macbook now, without fretting over the lousy Wireless@SG connections. I can use tethering via the USB cable (which is good because I can charge Tweedledee at the same time) or via bluetooth! I just tried both and they both work – another reason why this rocks! It is just, SO SIMPLE to get things to work with Apple. I think they’re geniuses not for the features they have (because c’mon, even I as an Apple fan would admit some are pretty damn late to launch) but because when they do launch these features, they. just. work. Plug, 2 clicks and I’m online! Woohoo!

The only drawback is when the crap 3G reception gets to me. But other than that… *happy beam*

I’d wanted to spend my entire day resting in bed, lounging in air-conditioned bliss curled up with one of the three new chick lit books I got when in Malaysia (thanks Pinkie!) but I ended up online the entire day, catching up on everything I’d missed over the past 4 days. Sheesh.

Alright, it’s off to look for some form of dinner now that I am done gushing (on my blog, anyway). This post was brought to you via bluetooth tethering. *happy sigh*

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I think it’d be nice to have consecutive nights where I don’t go to bed with neither a) leaky eyes nor b) a heavy heart.

where have they gone?

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I’m not sure if it is ungrateful or unappreciative or unreasonable of me to feel disappointed, if only a little

sigh……

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I rant about having too much to say and yet, feeling restrained about blogging about them in a public space. And then I open up this page, only to stare blankly at it because really, the words fail me. The lack of a decent update about my life here is driving me insane because I blog as a form of release. Haha.

In other news, my iPhone has a new theme. Which I tweaked to have a pink background.

The Geylang Serai food poisoning incident is freaking me out. 2 deaths, a coma, a miscarriage and over a hundred treated at hospitals. It’s crazy, and I hope things get sorted out but how much can you do when there have already been deaths?

I can’t breathe, can’t sleep, can’t function. This mess in my head is quite screwed up. Think I’d better get to fixing it soon. Pftt. I’m so tired……….

When I don’t have the chatter of people around me, my own thoughts threaten to strangle me and to knock out all the air I need to survive. I used to love being alone with my own thoughts. Just not these days I guess.
Stupid people and their chatter can screw off, though.

I’m thirsty. YAY! I like feeling thirsty. Hahahaha.

oh just get me out of here please.

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I feel nauseated with myself.
and yes, I still can’t fall asleep. big surprise whoopeedoo.

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oh crap. I lost the post I typed up because the wordpress app for my phone ate it up. pft!

and yes, I am still in Bangkok with my mum and aunt! they’ve gone out to look at the roadside stalls, and I passed! LOL imagine how tired I’ve to be from all the walking about to pass on a shopping opportunity! gasp! haha.

I get free wireless access in the executive lounge of the hotel.. which is awesome. what was even more awesome was discovering that we got upgraded to a suite when we arrived! hehe!

shopping on this trip seems to be on a lull. most of the stuff don’t appeal. amazing.

food’s still great though heh. I’ve missed it!

anyways, my tumblr has been updated with a couple of photos from the trip so far!

see you all sooooon!

being here makes me miss Skip and Meatball and Pinkie more than usual =((

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michelle’s chihuahua miki.
possibly the only chihuahua I like. he’s pretty sweet, heh

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